1. Are looks important in a relationship?
2. Are relationships ever worth it?
3. Are you a virgin?
4. Are you in a relationship?
5. Are you in love?
6. Are you single this year?
7. Can you commit to one person?
8. Describe your crush
9. Describe your perfect mate
10. Do you believe in love at first sight?
11. Do you ever want to get married?
12. Do you forgive betrayal?
13. Do you get jealous easily?
14. Do you have a crush on anyone?
15. Do you have any piercings?
16. Do you have any tattoos?
17. Do you like kissing in public?
20. Do you shower every day?
21. Do you think someone has feelings for you?
22. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?
23. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?
24. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?
25. Do you want to be in a relationship this year?
26. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?
27. Has someone ever written a song or poem for you?
28. Have you ever been cheated on?
29. Have you ever cheated on someone?
30. Have you ever considered plastic surgery? If so, what would you change about your body?
31. Have you ever cried over a guy/girl?
32. Have you ever experienced unrequited love?
33. Have you ever had sex with a man?
34. Have you ever had sex with a woman?
35. Have you ever kissed someone older than you?
36. Have you ever liked one of your best friends?
37. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?
38. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?
39. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?
40. Have you ever written a song or poem for someone?
41. Have you had sex so far this year?
42. How long can you just kiss until your hands start to wander?
43. How long was your longest relationship?
44. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had?
45. How many people did you kiss in 2012/2013?
46. How many times did you have sex last year?
47. How old are you?
48. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?
49. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her?
50. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept?
51. Is there a boy/girl who you would do absolutely everything for?
52. Is there anyone you’ve given up on? Why?
53. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?
54. Is there someone you will never forget?
55. Share a relationship story.
56. State 8 facts about your body
57. Things you want to say to an ex
58. What are five ways to win your heart?
59. What do you look like? (Post a picture!)
60. What is the biggest age difference between you and any of your partners?
61. What is the first thing you notice in someone?
62. What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you?
63. What is your definition of “having sex”?
64. What is your definition of cheating?
65. What is your favourite foreplay routine?
66. What is your favourite roleplay?
67. What is your idea of the perfect date?
68. What is your sexual orientation?
69. What turns you off?
70. What turns you on?
71. What was your kinkiest wet dream?
72. What words do you like to hear during sex?
73. What’s something sweet you’d like someone to do for you?
74. What’s the most superficial characteristic you look for?
75. What’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for you?
76. What’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever done for someone?
77. What’s your opinion on age differences in relationships?
78. What’s your dirtiest secret?
79. When was the last time you felt jealous? Why?
80. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?
81. Who are five people you find attractive?
82. Who is the last person you hugged?
83. Who was your first kiss with?
84. Why did your last relationship fail?
85. Would you ever date someone off of the Internet?
(We’re taking a calculus final. The TA is a well-known Lord of the Rings fan, and we’ve had running LotR jokes all semester.)
TA: “Okay, guys, everyone look at me. We’ve been over the rules, but just in case: no notes, pencil your answers in on the scantron sheet, and graphing calculators only – no more ‘can I just used my cell phone’ nonsense.”
Student: “[TA's name], my calculator batteries just died! What should I do?”
TA: “Here, I’ve got a big box of spares.”
Student: *struggling* “I can’t get this packaging open…”
Student 2: “Here, I’ve got a pocket knife.”
TA: “And I’ve got a pair of scissors if you need them.”
Student 3: *from the back of the room* “OR MY AXE!”
(Everyone starts laughing.)
TA: “The only axes allowed on the exam are in the graph section.”
TA: “Oh, come on, you’re in a math class. Deal with the math jokes.”
(The professor enters with a stack of exams. With him are two exam proctors.)
Professor: “Tolkien jokes already, [TA's name]?”
TA: “Hey, I didn’t start it.”
(The professor starts handing stacks of exams to the TA and proctors.)
Professor: “But I’m about to finish it. [TA], take these exams down the left flank. [Proctor 1], follow the desks down the center. [Proctor 2], take your exams right, along the wall.”
(At this point, many of the students have realized where this is going: Theoden’s lines from ‘Return of the King.’)
Professor: “Forth, and fear no problems! Solve! Solve, students of calculus! Points shall be taken, scores shall be splintered! A pencil day! A red-ink day! Until three thirty!”
(The professor pulls out a pencil, holding it out like a sword, and runs down the first row holding it out. Students hold up their pencils, hitting his as he passes.)
Professor: “Solve now! Solve now! Solve to good grades and the class ending! MAAATH!”
Entire Class: “MAAATH!”
Entire Class: “MAAAAAATH!”
Professor: “Forth, exam-takers!”
(The entire class rises to their feet and gives him a standing ovation. A week later, we get an email from the professor.)
Professor: *at the end of the email* “PS: I appreciate all of you who wrote in their evaluations that I was the one professor to rule them all, but the best one yet was the student who called me ‘Mathrandir.’”